When “Should” Gets In The Way
Women are inundated with rules and advice and suggestions all day, every day. Whether it’s magazines, or Youtube ads (or vloggers) or your big sister – there are a lot of “shoulds” floating around. And plenty make their way into the fitting room. I hear a lot of things like:
“I know I should be wearing an underwire bra…but I hate them!”
“I feel like I should have a beige bra…but I want colour!”
“I probably should be wearing a swimsuit with more coverage…but I love bikinis!”
This wirefree version of Elomi’s Cate is just dreamy!
Let’s throw away some shoulds. I don’t think they’re really helping anyone. If anything, they just seem to muddy the waters and confuse us! Here are a few ways to decide which lingerie shoulds to ditch.
Where did it come from?
I think a lot of us have this bossy, sort of mean little voice in our heads that just lives to tell us what we’re doing wrong. (If I’m the only one with this voice, please don’t tell me!) But just because it’s noisy, doesn’t mean it’s right. The next time it gets mouthy with you, turn the tables. Ask that voice where it got its information! I find this takes some of its authority away, like pulling back the curtain to find that the wizard’s not so great and powerful after all.
Can you think of a good reason for it?
As a little girl, my parents taught me that I should look both ways before crossing the street. I’d say that’s a good should, since it keeps me, you know…alive. I can think of no such dire consequences for lingerie “mistakes.” Yes, there are elements of bra fit that can help with back or shoulder pain, but even that isn’t true for every body. What’s a must for one person is a maybe (or a never) for someone else. Which brings me to our next question…
Sculptresse’s Chi Chi in this bright palm print is so much fun!
Does it fit your lifestyle?
There’s no bra that’s one size fits all, right? Ditto advice. It’s like those articles on “Top 10 Wardrobe Must-Haves.” They always put a white button down shirt on those lists, and I can’t be the only one who has zero use for such a thing. Spills and stains aside, I don’t work in an office or have a professional dress code, so that particular should wouldn’t do me any good. And if you never wear sheer or light coloured clothes, a beige or nude bra isn’t going to do you any good, no matter how many people say you need to have one.
You are the expert on your own life. Hate underwire? Live your life in wirefree bliss! Want colourful lingerie? Pick bras that make you feel like a glamorous butterfly! Secretly long for a bikini? Spend the whole summer in one! Shoulds be damned! In the immortal words of Beyoncé, you’re a grown woman, and you can do whatever you want.
